So I went to the @KimmelCenter last night for the Network for New Music Ensemble.. My intent was to live-tweet the experience of the performance.. unfortunately, I ran into some hiccups.
Grabbed the tickets and went to enter the Perelman Theater. Waiting in only a short line and I watch the interaction in front of me. Lady hands her tickets to an Usher who is now face to face with her. Usher says “Your seats are to the right.” and the lady enters, and goes to her right. The usher says “Excuse me, but I said to the right”… lady says “this is my right”… usher says “uhh, MY right!” and points. Whatever, just a stupid way to give directions.. I’m next (now fully understanding this ushers point of reference) and she says “to the right…” – I jokingly point the other direction and say “that way, right?” with a smile… she gives me the look of death and points in the other direction. A+ for sense of humor huh…
As I was finding my seat and holding my phone in my hand (just carrying it at my side) I was told by a new Usher (this guy was on the 2nd floor) that phones are not allowed in here, and I would need to put it away. No problem, I simply assume he means when the show begins. Keep in mind, this was roughly 7:45PM or so, and there was a decent roar in the room from people coming in and no real order to the room yet.
As I sat, I clicked the button on the top of my iPhone to check the time and wooooosh, just like that the Gestapo Usher was right up my ass. He re-informed me quite sternly that phones are not allowed in here and I would need to step outside. I said “I’m simply checking the time, I don’t intend to use it.” and he rebutted with “It doesn’t matter, the light… like a fly I saw the light and came over.”… at the same time, he informed my date that her left foot needs to move back from the railing. (I should add, her foot wasn’t up on the railing.. it was on the floor, but the point of her shoe was touching the rail)
Regardless, I was not impressed by this point… had it not been for the cocktails prior, I would have probably been more frustrated at the time.
As it got closer to 8PM, I watched Gestapo Usher fly in on everyone who even considered using a cell phone, and even more so on those who’s feet, or even knees, came close to touching the railing. He would actually enter one of the rows and inconvenience everyone else to inform someone sitting in the middle that her feet need to not touch the rail. It was pretty frustrating to watch…
THEN….THEN came the real winner… A ‘larger’ women with a crutch walks in and is looking for her seat. The Gestapo Usher points her to a seat approximately 4 people deep, in a very tight row. She obviously would have difficulty sitting there, and says she can’t take that seat and is going to take one of the empty chairs off to the side. Gestapo says “I’m sorry, you have to take the seat you were assigned.” she calmly explains that the seat is too tight and difficult to get to, and Gestapos response? “Ma’am, if you want a different seat you’ll need to go [back downstairs and outside] to the ticket booth and request a different ticket”
Seriously Gestapo? She obviously has difficulty walking, the stairs weren’t exactly cake for her, you’re really going to make her go all the way downstairs when the show isn’t even remotely sold out? That’s just unreal… It really put a bad taste in my mouth for the quality of service of what is supposed to be a ‘prime entertainment venue’. Even patrons who were pushing 65 years old were mentioning the difficulty of the usher. I overheard one say to the person next to him “careful, if your feet touch the railing the usher will come castrate you.” Come on… when you’re pissing off that age bracket, there has to be something wrong.
Otherwise, although a bit creepy towards the end, the performance itself was enjoyable… If I were judging just based on the venue and performance, I’d certainly go back – It was relaxing in that sense. I’ll just be sure to have a few drinks prior to going, this way I don’t care nearly as much about the kindergarten style service I’ll get.